My brain says no but my pants say off.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
