you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
im six kinds of drunk right now
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Life without a bra equals bliss.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize