this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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