Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
