He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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