My nipple is on Facebook.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
