Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar

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(303): last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar http://tfl.nu/1mlv

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(908): View more from New Jersey

All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.

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(908): All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me. http://tfl.nu/8azw

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(404): View more from Georgia

No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.

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(404): No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it. http://tfl.nu/6j8m

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(303): View more from Colorado

mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him

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(303): mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him http://tfl.nu/uw49

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down

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(978): if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down http://tfl.nu/hyp3

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(518): View more from New York

I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.

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(518): I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred. http://tfl.nu/3k1m

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(281): View more from Texas

Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal

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(281): Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal http://tfl.nu/lnon

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(416): View more from Toronto

He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.

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(416): He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex. http://tfl.nu/exbo

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(524): View more from

How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?

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(524): How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him? http://tfl.nu/bb5f

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(207): View more from Maine

Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?

(1-207): View more from Maine

I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.

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(207): Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I? (1-207): I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me. http://tfl.nu/4usu

Replies (5) Good night (2634) Bad night (701)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?

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(615): His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win? http://tfl.nu/uubh

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(423): View more from Tennessee

Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility

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(423): Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility http://tfl.nu/hzzw

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(817): View more from Texas

I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.

(682): View more from Texas

They're mostly guys

(817): View more from Texas

Early bird gets the worm.

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(817): I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single. (682): They're mostly guys (817): Early bird gets the worm. http://tfl.nu/9qay

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(720): View more from Colorado

We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.

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(720): We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out. http://tfl.nu/ioyx

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(701): View more from North Dakota

All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy

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(701): All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy http://tfl.nu/indb

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