Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is