If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.