fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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