just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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