Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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