So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
