I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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