what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
