it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
