a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
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