Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize
