my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
