Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
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