I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
