Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
