I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
