Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
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