I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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