Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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