I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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