woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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