dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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