sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
