The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
