i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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