Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
