At least make sure they are 18
Why
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
