You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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