When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
