lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
