They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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