yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
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