Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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