We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
