That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
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