I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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