check it out our google latitudes are spooning
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
