Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
