Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
