Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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