i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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