Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
