Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
The feeling are messing with the penis
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
