his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
