i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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