i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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