I'm jealous of your bromance
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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