Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
