Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
