that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
