tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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