I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
