I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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