I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
