the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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