it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
