yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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