Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
