Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
