i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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