If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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