i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
