Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
