But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
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i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
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Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.