When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
