Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
