I don't get it.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.