I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?