So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.