when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
