my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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