I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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